Decisions...decisions..decisions...
Hii, here's another blog post on my current thoughts.
Yes I passed one of the BIGGEST exam of MY life. Never thought I'd get through but now I've DONE it. I'm truly happy, and grateful for every bit of this year that was offered to me.
Now what makes me feel so 'unsure'?
THE NEXT STEP.
Yes, the fact that TIME flies so fast. I barely have time to celebrate or ''have a break''. I have to now quickly make a choice that shapes my future and move on from there. So yes, I'm feeling the pressure. Feeling the thought of leaving this wonderful place behind, leaving everything that brought meaning to my life to embark on the next adventure of my life.
Right now, I can see 2 options : To stay in the UK or to go home/another country.
I do have a job offer here but it wasn't what I expected, and the thought of working in a place that once brought me light to my life and I got to spend it with someone super close to my heart and the thought of NOT having them there when I start work and having everything reminding me of those good times in addition of NOT having any social contacts to turn to cause I am in an island - makes me think twice about taking this job offer.
It would benefit my future but will I be strong enough to survive it? The tears, the loneliness, the 'restarting life all over again', the constant thought of having everything reminded to you in your face of those times you once had and you can't have anymore, and not to forget, WORK STRESS - knowing myself, it could potentially kill me.
Now for the OTHER choice of leaving and going home, job opportunity not as good or perhaps just as good, the question that bugs me is ' am I ready to leave UK for good and leave the life here behind for good?'.
I know its good being close to family, home but its been making my mind boggle just thinking about what I want cause at this point, I'm honestly unsure. I don't want to regret any decisions I make, and I certainly don't want any regrets...
Hence, the title! crap.
I wish I could sense some form of direction of where to go next and which is the better choice for my future but unfortunately, life doesn't offer such choice. It's about taking risk and knowing that whatever decision you make, you stand your ground with proper reasons why that will not stop you to wish you took the other direction instead in the future.
Sigh...
Decions,decisions,decisions.
Stop the pride,stubborn-ness and its time to think straight and realistic, G.
Yes I passed one of the BIGGEST exam of MY life. Never thought I'd get through but now I've DONE it. I'm truly happy, and grateful for every bit of this year that was offered to me.
Now what makes me feel so 'unsure'?
THE NEXT STEP.
Yes, the fact that TIME flies so fast. I barely have time to celebrate or ''have a break''. I have to now quickly make a choice that shapes my future and move on from there. So yes, I'm feeling the pressure. Feeling the thought of leaving this wonderful place behind, leaving everything that brought meaning to my life to embark on the next adventure of my life.
Right now, I can see 2 options : To stay in the UK or to go home/another country.
I do have a job offer here but it wasn't what I expected, and the thought of working in a place that once brought me light to my life and I got to spend it with someone super close to my heart and the thought of NOT having them there when I start work and having everything reminding me of those good times in addition of NOT having any social contacts to turn to cause I am in an island - makes me think twice about taking this job offer.
It would benefit my future but will I be strong enough to survive it? The tears, the loneliness, the 'restarting life all over again', the constant thought of having everything reminded to you in your face of those times you once had and you can't have anymore, and not to forget, WORK STRESS - knowing myself, it could potentially kill me.
Now for the OTHER choice of leaving and going home, job opportunity not as good or perhaps just as good, the question that bugs me is ' am I ready to leave UK for good and leave the life here behind for good?'.
I know its good being close to family, home but its been making my mind boggle just thinking about what I want cause at this point, I'm honestly unsure. I don't want to regret any decisions I make, and I certainly don't want any regrets...
Hence, the title! crap.
I wish I could sense some form of direction of where to go next and which is the better choice for my future but unfortunately, life doesn't offer such choice. It's about taking risk and knowing that whatever decision you make, you stand your ground with proper reasons why that will not stop you to wish you took the other direction instead in the future.
Sigh...
Decions,decisions,decisions.
Stop the pride,stubborn-ness and its time to think straight and realistic, G.
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