The Good Things about Bad Relationships.

Hey my overactive thinkers :P Hope you're having a good day.

I've got an interesting article to share about and it's about the seeing the good side of those past relationships that didn't make it to your present . 

It's easy to think of all the negatives and let it affect us physically and emotionally but it takes a lot of strength and courage to think the opposite. So let's do that together. I hope you find this helpful. 

These points are based on general relationships that majority of us would have gone through OR would learnt at the end of each relationship.

* Learn to be better. The best way to learn is through your mistakes. It sticks to you more when you made a mistake, identify what went wrong and try to avoid it in the future THAN to be a third party towards the situation and understand what to avoid. The saying ' you have no idea what it feels like until you've been there' is exactly quite right. So take those times , think really hard and find ways to be better with yourself so that your future can have a much better chance at stability & sustainability than what you just had/ went through.

* Don't like or fall too fast . If you're like me who's been hurt in so many different emotional ways , you would have known not to let your guard down too easily the next time. With each failure raises the bar even higher which I'm quite afraid of because I don't want to be single for life but sometimes it looks like I'm headed for that - just need to find the balance I guess. But nevertheless, I learnt that you should never let your guard down until someone is worth doing so.

Till then, I don't think it's wrong to have your guard up - it's actually good to protect your heart and your emotions from people who are just there to linger & play. 

*Know your worth . Never let anyone define how much you're worth except you. Hard to practice but its definitely true. If someone could love you TRULY for you before and you were just being your true self, what makes you think that the next person that comes along wouldn't? So keep your worth strong and tall although you may not feel like it as you're more vulnerable but trust me, it makes you look confident and it acts as a protective mechanism from people who messes with people's feelings. 

* Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. In a relationship, there will be pressure faced by both parties and sometimes it pushes you to the point where either one sacrifices more than the other and that's when it crumbles. The key to going through that is communication, talk to them openly and honestly and if you're not comfortable with it, don't push yourself through it & don't convince yourself that 'it will be okay' because it will come back to you and it will linger in your mind till it eats you up inside, so if you aren't happy about something - say it out. If they really love you, they will have the heart to listen to your opinion and work it out. If not, leave because you're gonna end being miserable with someone who doesn't give you that freedom that you deserve. 

* Don't forget about your social circle. Yes you're in a relationship, yes he/she is the only person you want to spend your days with and yes you basically want to go everywhere & do as many things as you can with that person, but don't forget.. what happens when he/she leaves or what happens when you get sick of each other? I mean, you've got your own life too and it's not just about both of you. Being in a relationship is a companionship between two consenting involved people. Its both of you working together against the world not the world against both of you. So dont forget your friends & your family and don't certainly isolate them just because you're with someone now. 

*Be in moderation. It's natural to be overly-excited, anxious, nervous and clingy when you're flirting/dating or seeing someone so the key is to watch yourself from overdoing it. You want to be yourself but not someone who's obsessed with the other person, so just act cool, stay calm & take it slow. If he/she is the right one, you've got forever to discover about each other , there's no rush & if he/she thinks you're the right one, they'll understand and they will be too. Don't be scared to hold your grounds or to slow things down if things get too fast or out of hand. 

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These are the few things I've realized so far and I hope it helps you like it did to me. Love is really complicated, I'm not an expert let alone in a long term relationship but I know , I believe in love and have full respect for it to say : What's meant to be will be , either way. 

It may seem like the pain never ends, but just keep going because you're almost there. 

Enjoy the freedom, enjoy loving yourself because before you know it,

he/she is right there waiting for you wishing to meet someone like you . 

Have faith ,

G.