Relationship : Find you first before you search for someone else.
Hello everyone - welcome back.
Loving someone out of loneliness OR love is two diverse roads. One is for good reasoning and the other is the opposite. This is why we need to find ourselves, appreciate who we are before we can allow ourselves to love another.
What will happen if you love someone but you're insecure about yourself.
1) He/She will lose interest over time because you're constantly questioning your position in the relationship.
2) Your partner will be an add-on stress to you when you're lost with yourself .
3) The level of trust, confidence and self worth starts to deteriorate .
4) You lose your identity - you lose what made you attractive in the first place, because now that you're in a relationship - you'll stop chasing the person you love, and you're so afraid that he/she will leave you that you become this clingy person.
5) You become this 'attention-seeker' that will require validation from your partner to feel better. But if they're away or if they're busy, it affects you terribly.
(Those are some of the examples I can list of what would happen if you're in a relationship and you are unsure about who you are).
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So really, you're kinda wasting your time cause you won't find yourself by 'getting a boyfriend/girlfriend'. You find yourself by being WITH yourself. This is why people take time off in their life to just LIVE the life they want (sort of like a 'time out').
FAQ about 'Finding yourself'.
* How do you find yourself?
Ans: You won't fully find yourself, you learn as you go. But what's important is acknowledging your presence in this world too & by knowing that you are equally as important as to those you care about.
* When will you know if you've found yourself?
Ans: You'll know when you rather be yourself than compare to anyone else, you'll know when you love your life so much that you'll accept other's way of life too without being jealous or feeling hatred towards them & lastly, you'll know when you can still love yourself despite the imperfections that you have within yourself.
* How to not be a 'weirdo' figuring yourself out even when you're older?
Ans:Finding yourself does not mean you have to do it when you're young. Everyone's journey is different. It's like falling in love. Not everyone gets the chance to find the one when they are young, some find it later in life & that's okay. At the end of the day, we still feel loved & that's all that matters. Trust me when I say, when you find yourself & you're able to accept who you are, there's no happier peaceful feeling than that.
*How to deal with the pressure of being alone while I find myself?
Ans: Well, you're doing it for you at the end of the day. So what they don't see is how much progress you've made by doing what you love & figuring yourself out when you're single. (For example, compare who you were last year and now, I'm pretty sure you've changed loads). The best way to deal with it, is to believe that you're getting better day & to not let them convince you that you're "not there yet". Great things take time, but remember every bit of progress is STILL progress.
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There's nothing wrong with taking time to find who you are, to discover your likes/dislikes and to explore the world while doing so. Rushing into relationships, wouldn't solve your problem. At the end of the day, your insecurities will radiate louder than what you try to hide,
By taking time, to regain your self worth/confidence and self esteem & to be responsible for them, is to know that you're good enough WITH or WITHOUT someone else in your life & that my friend, is when the universe will allow love to come to you .
Love has a funny way of making ends meet.
Don't be afraid to find yours first.
<3
G.
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