Self Help : Time to be yourself & stay YOU.

Helloo welcome back! :) 

Currently having a hot cup of tea while writing this post :) #feelingheavenly when it's super cold outside.

Anyways, today I have another post about 'embracing your own self'' . I know it's been the *topic* all week and it's because I'm currently going through all these changes too. As in, I'm beginning to trust & believe in myself and I find it really inspirational on how just a slight change can really  - change the way you look at life. 

So I figured while going through that 'transformation' , I could share it with you too. : ) 

And to be honest, I find it weird to be happy on days where I used to be 'moody/emotional' . 

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My story 

Let me begin by telling you a lil bit of who I 'am' or used to be -
here's some things about the 'old me'. 

¦» Used to be someone who can't BE alone (whether it's going out, eating out, shopping, holidays ) - I needed to have company to do all those things.

¦» Used to be someone who feels left out because I couldn't fit in to any groups/crowds and it affected me a lot throughout high school onwards until now. 

¦» Used to be someone who needed validation from others to feel 'accepted' . 

¦»Used to be someone who feels like I'm constantly being judged by everyone else.

¦» Hence to always feel insecure & low self esteem

¦»Used to feel as if I'm never going to be good enough to the point I felt as if I don't deserve to be 'happy'.

¦» Used to be someone who would modify my attitude just so I could be with people. 

¦» Used to be someone who constantly feel bad for myself because of the things I don't have & can't get. 

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So as you can see, I wasn't as confident as I am now before. And while I was going through all that, I went through some pretty rough patch of my own too as a normal growing teenager would go through - such as acne, heartbreak, growing up , losing contact of friends you once knew and etc. After so many years of trying to deal with it, I decided to take a break from it all. 

I even turned to family & friends for support but even so, it wasn't enough. All they could say was 'you're thinking too much' or 'it's going to be ok' - there were words of comfort but not solutions. What I needed was ways to solve this problem, so finally... I decided to take that break.

That break - involves me, instead of looking out for what is wrong, I decided to look into myself & see how I can improve myself to face the world once again. I went through many months of 're-discovering myself' & trying to find ways to trust myself once again.

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What I did :

The main thing that I did to "find myself" was to do things I was afraid to do before. I did not create any excuses and everytime I find myself making one to 'NOT' do something, I will challenge that and prove to myself that I can do it. 

Trust me, it was a pretty interesting year - that was! xD I ate alone at a restaurant (ordered what I wanted, and was satisfied with my meal), went to watch a movie in the cinema alone (watched one of my favourite movies (Cinderella) & loved it too), went travelling alone (mostly work-related travels but still, stayed in a hotel alone), went to the gym alone, and ETC.

I basically did everything I was afraid to do 'alone' and do it so many times that I'm comfortable with it now. The second thing I did was to change my mentality. 

Now this was difficult (no kidding) , it definitely took a while. It was all just trial & error. It was all about finding confidence in me,  believing in myself & doing the things I love despite what others think. 

After months of 'standing on my two feet' and doing things 'because I want to' and not because I have to - my life became better & I started to feel happier as well. There were days where I would fall back & find myself in the same ol position but I kept persevering and that's the key to grow - PERSEVERANCE. 

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Currently :

Ever since I learn to embrace myself more, and take in consideration the things I want & take effort to make that happen, my life is finally to shift to the way I want it to be.

& you know what - I made new friends, I find myself feeling more comfortable and confident in the way I live now. I stopped caring what people think about me, I started to chase after what I really want, and I stop relying on people for validation / acceptance. 

And I learnt to give myself the best chance to live life to the fullest - even if sometimes reality doesn't let it be that way. 

Just like that quote :

'Even if your day is gloomy, you always have full control to make your own sunshine'.
[Or something similar to that famous quote] ;)

So at the end of the story, I am who I am today because I realized, you can't hide who you really are forever & its best to embrace it. Yes...maybe you might break a few hearts, lose some friendships, be a lil distance and change your attitude to be more of you in the process but that's ok. 

 

At the end of the day, if you're happy, life will be a lot easier to live than to constantly mask yourself in the face of others. 

I hope this post inspired you to be yourself & realize that you are special just the way you are. 

You may not have the 'happy ending' you've ever dream of now, but being happy with yourself is the most important kind of happiness to have in your life. 

You've only got one life to live, so at least give yourself a shot of that happiness. =] 

Don't be afraid to be yourself ,

Stay awesome,

Stay happy,

G.