Relationship : Having space in relationship

Hey everyone,

Welcome back.

Haven't really written much about relationships in a while, that's because I've been trying to figure out how to make my relationships better. Mine tends to run into arguements every now and then and most of the time I realized, it's because of me.

I'm the cause of it by wanting to have some space to myself whereas not everyone understands how important having space to oneself is about & some may take it offensively. 

So here's this post to explain if you're in a similar situation as me, why having space in a relationship is important to the both of you.

First off , here's a question:

IS IT NORMAL? 

Yes , it's perfectly normal to want to have some space to yourself when you're with someone. No it's not because you don't like them or you have an issue BEING with them. It's because you need your 'me time' and that's normal. 

So how to deal with having your own space & still maintain a loving relationship between two people?

Well , you can start by talking it out with one another. Talk and explain how important having space is to you & how it can benefit you for your well being & for your relationship. Once that is through, come to a compromise between the both of you to move on forward. If that doesn't work, the relationship you're in isn't worth your time.

Secondly, know that in every relationship, you shouldn't feel restricted, limited or stuck. So if having your own space allows you to be creative, to think , to practice mindfulness and to feel that independence like myself, you should be in a relationship that allows you to do both. 

Thirdly, it takes time to find the comfort amount of space between both of you to spend apart without feeling lonely. It doesn't happen within the first 3 months, it takes time & patience. It's all about learning about each other to be comfortable with having each other incorporated into your life. So be patient & don't rush .

Lastly, I was in this similar situation and I was so afraid that I was going to look bad or look  liked I had a problem with spending time with people. So I decided to talk it out & kind of took a leap of faith with it & guess what, he understood. At first, I was so afraid that it was going to ruin us but instead talking it out made it easier & made me feel like I could trust him more. So my last piece of advice is, don't overthink it. If you need space, take the space you need to develop & to grow yourself, your partner should want to be with you still if it's to be a better version of yourself. Otherwise, he's being selfish & he isn't worth it. 

Your relationship should be fun, it should be an added bonus of happiness. It shouldn't be your only chance to be happy. So enjoy the ride of being in a relationship, enjoy the ups & the downs of it & make it work. Relationships aren't easy to keep but if you can both can sort it out & maintain it, it can be one of the most beautiful things ever made between the both of  you. 

Good luck & all the best,

G.